Moved, again

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The last goodbye

So this is how it ends, bittersweet.

I said bye to the girl I have lived with for the past five months, knowing that one day I will visit her and her parents in Portugal because the friendship we forged here will last us a lifetime. She reminded me that I shouldn't give up my dreams for anybody, and lent me some of her courage when I was in need of some. She cooked me dinner on my first day here, and took me to church on my first Sunday because I was clueless about taking the bus even though she doesn't have the faith I have. I will always remember how she was always there to lend me a listening ear.

And now a chapter closes for the both of us, and a new one begins.

I will miss you Maria :')

P/S I also learnt how to pronounce Maria the right way: not ma-ria, but mer-ria :)

Meant to be

I marvel at how God devised every step of our lives. I can't help but feel I was meant to leave this soon, because Maria is going back to Portugal this Wednesday and Janice is moving to Hollywood next week...There isn't much here for me to stay.

That said, I am going to Maryland the weekend I arrive in New York!! And I get a few days to myself to just be on my own.

So I guess it's goodbye

I rescheduled my flight. Said my goodbyes to the church I have been going to for the past five months today. The hardest part about leaving is not the actual act of it but the final steps leading up to it.

Saturdays mhmm

Spent my the first half of my Saturday morning rolling around the carpet in my duvet with Disney Channel on, and hot Singaporean milo (two packs in a cup for that extra oomph), the other half learning how to make a La Tortilla Española, which is a Spanish potato omelette from Maria's mom.

Also, keeping my fingers crossed that this will be my last weekend in LA.

Timeline

It took me two months to get to LA due to visa issues, two weeks to settle in, three months to fall in love with this city, another two months to learn its flaws and then hate it, a week to realise that I need to leave right now, a conversation that affirmed my conviction about leaving which led to an hour of crying in the bath realising we are not ultimately the ones controlling the course of our life but God, and berating myself for forgetting that, three minutes to explain to my parents via skype why I need to leave, a moment to realise that everything I ever knew can change in a second.

I never dealt with the pressing, intensity of time. It ticks silently away. Time ushers us along even if we don't want to move. Time is no longer a quiet assurance.

It ticks like a bomb. More often than not. There is no definite reality. The only definite thing is change.

Give up

My head is exploding. I have been packing and packing and packing and packing and packing.

Praying for an earlier flight to new york...please let it happen Lord. I can't stand it anymore.

And if I have to pay for excess baggage, fine. I have been here for five months - it would be weird if I didn't have excess baggage.

Totally justifiable.

"He hath made everything beautiful in his time...so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the begining to the end"

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2 A time to be born , and a time to die ; a time to plant , and a time to pluck up that which is planted ; 3 A time to kill , and a time to heal ; a time to break down , and a time to build up ; 4 A time to weep , and a time to laugh ; a time to mourn , and a time to dance ; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together ; a time to embrace , and a time to refrain from embracing ; 6 A time to get , and a time to lose ; a time to keep , and a time to cast away ; 7 A time to rend , and a time to sew ; a time to keep silence , and a time to speak ; 8 A time to love , and a time to hate ; a time of war, and a time of peace. 9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth? 10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it. 11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.