Sundays with Love

Moved, again

2011-08-25T14:25:00.001+08:00

The last goodbye

2011-08-24T13:38:00.004+08:00

So this is how it ends, bittersweet.

I said bye to the girl I have lived with for the past five months, knowing that one day I will visit her and her parents in Portugal because the friendship we forged here will last us a lifetime. She reminded me that I shouldn't give up my dreams for anybody, and lent me some of her courage when I was in need of some. She cooked me dinner on my first day here, and took me to church on my first Sunday because I was clueless about taking the bus even though she doesn't have the faith I have. I will always remember how she was always there to lend me a listening ear.

And now a chapter closes for the both of us, and a new one begins.

I will miss you Maria :')

P/S I also learnt how to pronounce Maria the right way: not ma-ria, but mer-ria :)

Meant to be

2011-08-23T03:56:00.002+08:00

I marvel at how God devised every step of our lives. I can't help but feel I was meant to leave this soon, because Maria is going back to Portugal this Wednesday and Janice is moving to Hollywood next week...There isn't much here for me to stay.

That said, I am going to Maryland the weekend I arrive in New York!! And I get a few days to myself to just be on my own.

So I guess it's goodbye

2011-08-22T08:58:00.003+08:00

I rescheduled my flight. Said my goodbyes to the church I have been going to for the past five months today. The hardest part about leaving is not the actual act of it but the final steps leading up to it.

Saturdays mhmm

2011-08-21T04:22:00.004+08:00

Spent my the first half of my Saturday morning rolling around the carpet in my duvet with Disney Channel on, and hot Singaporean milo (two packs in a cup for that extra oomph), the other half learning how to make a La Tortilla Española, which is a Spanish potato omelette from Maria's mom.

Also, keeping my fingers crossed that this will be my last weekend in LA.

Timeline

2011-08-20T12:25:00.005+08:00

It took me two months to get to LA due to visa issues, two weeks to settle in, three months to fall in love with this city, another two months to learn its flaws and then hate it, a week to realise that I need to leave right now, a conversation that affirmed my conviction about leaving which led to an hour of crying in the bath realising we are not ultimately the ones controlling the course of our life but God, and berating myself for forgetting that, three minutes to explain to my parents via skype why I need to leave, a moment to realise that everything I ever knew can change in a second.

I never dealt with the pressing, intensity of time. It ticks silently away. Time ushers us along even if we don't want to move. Time is no longer a quiet assurance.

It ticks like a bomb. More often than not. There is no definite reality. The only definite thing is change.

Give up

2011-08-20T12:23:00.004+08:00

My head is exploding. I have been packing and packing and packing and packing and packing.

Praying for an earlier flight to new york...please let it happen Lord. I can't stand it anymore.

And if I have to pay for excess baggage, fine. I have been here for five months - it would be weird if I didn't have excess baggage.

Totally justifiable.

"He hath made everything beautiful in his time...so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the begining to the end"

2011-08-19T12:14:00.002+08:00

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2 A time to be born , and a time to die ; a time to plant , and a time to pluck up that which is planted ; 3 A time to kill , and a time to heal ; a time to break down , and a time to build up ; 4 A time to weep , and a time to laugh ; a time to mourn , and a time to dance ; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together ; a time to embrace , and a time to refrain from embracing ; 6 A time to get , and a time to lose ; a time to keep , and a time to cast away ; 7 A time to rend , and a time to sew ; a time to keep silence , and a time to speak ; 8 A time to love , and a time to hate ; a time of war, and a time of peace. 9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth? 10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it. 11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

Things happen

2011-08-19T11:31:00.001+08:00

"To finish what I started"

Funny how I came home and heard this phrase coming from someone else.

To finish what I started

2011-08-19T02:27:00.004+08:00

Suddenly recall having a roll of black and white film in my diana mini that I took to vegas and the grand canyon with me and I haven't sent it for developing...I think I still have half a roll left...but I must have messed up quite a few shots in that roll - you know that feeling when mis-shot something and don't feel like developing the roll anymore cos its tainted? I feel that way all the time...which is why I have so many undeveloped rolls sitting at home....(there's one roll in my oktomat too lol)

I should snap a few more pictures and take the roll to Bel Air's this weekend for developing before I leave this city :) It's so hard to snap pictures when Santa Monica is so...cloudy all the time.

Kitty kittie

2011-08-18T06:02:00.002+08:00

So pwetty this pair of shoes...but sadly they are 645USD 'cos they are Stella McCartney. Ahah better stick to Steve Maddens.......

Before I forget, I was a pure bio student in high school

2011-08-17T01:19:00.004+08:00

Why do I enjoy crawling to work and then end up with a super high temperature by mid day and have all my enzymes screwed up because they no longer can work at their optimal temperature? And then I am unable to grab my mouse properly even though its huge as a brick because my enzymes are all deranged.

Sigh. Back to the danzen and panadol extra diet... ha ha ha ha hoping I lose some of the 7kg I put on here.

Read

2011-08-16T13:26:00.003+08:00

Nothing quite like having a book in your lap in an attempt to soothe that crazy thumping in your head. It's been ages since I found myself engrossed in a book. If you walked into the room and tried to speak to me I would have hit you over the face with it to shut you up. I leave my balcony door open tonight as I flip through the pages of my book. And then it comes to a point where I am unable to differentiate which is causing the shiver down my spine - the sincere and honest musings of the author or the familiar cold breeze.

My head still hurts.

When lightning strikes

2011-08-16T12:17:00.003+08:00

Loving my new Speedlite 430ex II flash :) No more ugly pop-up camera flash pictures anymore HURRAY.

YOU, YES, YOU

2011-08-16T03:13:00.002+08:00

"You, yes, you, linger inside my heart
The same you who stopped us before we could start."
— Megan McCafferty (Second Helpings)

How can anyone not love Megan McCafferty?

My unwillingness to finish Perfect Fifths (barely one-third through) has proven how much I need the story of Jessica Darling and Marcus Flutie to continue - and this means that I have to put a stop to reading it...to prevent the 'end' from coming so soon (if this even makes sense to you). I will always remember the infamous Marcus Flutie one-word postcards.

I
Wish
Our
Love
Was
Right
Now
And

FOREVER.

And how sometimes 'whatever' might be a good word to substitute 'forever'.

Why do all good things have to come to an end?

We all want what we can't have

2011-08-15T12:05:00.000+08:00

It's time

2011-08-15T11:08:00.006+08:00

Nothing like a Sunday night with a warm bowl of green bean soup with the Phineas and Ferb movie on Disney Channel. I miss watching my hong kong dramas on TVB though...These two weeks of my life are going to be so excruciating long. Why can't the 31st just come already!? I need to pack everything properly and LEAVE. (I bought a weighing scale to weigh my luggage and it's ridiculously overweight! Argh!) I don't want to stay in this city for another second.

Since Maria went to San Fransisco on Friday morning...I have been moping around at home doing absolutely nothing but laying in bed. I think lethargy has gotten the better of me.

Universal Studios Hollywood

2011-08-14T06:27:00.002+08:00

I miss Universal Studios Hollywood. I cannot tell you how awesum it was. I never had so much fun at a theme park before :)

Chillax

2011-08-12T07:43:00.003+08:00

If anything do you know what LA has taught me?

To slow down.

Slow down, when I am eating. Talking. Walking. Working. (As if I don't eat slow enough)

A few days ago I had to call Citibank Singapore because my debit card wasn't working (no it wasn't because I maxed out my card, but because they were doing system maintenance), and this was how the conversation went:

Me: Hello, I am calling because I tried using my debit card earlier on but it didn't work...so I was just wondering what ----- (Got cut off)
Customer Service: Hi ma'am can I have your name first?
Me: Hazel-- (DIDNT EVEN HAVE TIME TO SAY MY SURNAME!!)
Customer Service: Hi ma'am, that's because we are undergoing system maintenance and so all our atms, and debit cards are out of order...
Me: Does it also mean your online banking system is out of order? because I tried to log ------
Customer Service: Yes Hazel everything is out of order we are sorry about that is there anything else I can help you with?
Me: Yes. (Takes deep breath) I was. going to ask. If you could still check my bank acc balance on your sid -------
Customer Service: Sorry Hazel we can't do that because we don't have access currently.
Me: How long more ----
Customer Service: The system will be up in a few hours so please check back then. Ok? Is there anything else I can help you with?
Me: Er..not really.
Customer Service: Thank you and have a nice day Hazel.

?!!?!?!?!? What was THAT about. I couldn't even finish my sentences.

Slowing down doesn't equate to slacking or the lack of efficiency. It just means that I am willing to take time out to listen to people, and to make sure that I am accurate in my work. Chillax only, you know? Singapore customer service really....is not that great.

I was just talking about you the other day and....

2011-08-11T14:38:00.002+08:00

......

(sometimes the story needs to unfold before it can be told)

2.5

2011-08-11T14:22:00.006+08:00

Obviously I have been getting some sort of a writer's block. Maybe it's because its about 2.5 weeks before I head to new york ~ *concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there's nothing you can't do when you're in new york*sings* lol I shall go to new york and pretend to be carrie bradshaw haha.

I miss home. The other day I was thinking about duck mee (YES i will never say duck NOODLES again, because there are no noodles as special as our meeeee in the world) and my teeth starting aching so badly. Food cravings drive me nuts most of the time. I already have a food timetable planned out for myself. Day one breakfast I am going to have duck mee, day one lunch, I am going to have prawn mee, day one dinner, salted vege soup and fried prawns. And so on...

On another note, I don't really want to jinx myself for saying this but...my company seems intent on sending me to the Singapore IFF this September. DO YOU KNOW WHO I GET TO MEET?!?! I am not telling because it's a secret...for now. My brothers will be so thrilled to know anyway.

And on a very bad note I have been contemplating whether I should purchase a ring flash....which will require a 77mm adapter and a 82mm - 77mm step down adapter. (though both adapters are cheap, the ring flash is not) SIGH. What's with me and gadgets seriously. My friends would never spend money on gadgets because they know exactly how much more they can get out of the sum of money when they buy clothes.

Sundayswithyou

2011-08-10T07:27:00.002+08:00

www.sundayswithyou.com

Updated our website!!

Natasha Bedingfield: Unwritten

2011-08-09T12:38:00.002+08:00

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you cannot find
Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions, feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

Disney Magic

2011-08-08T15:13:00.005+08:00

I loved Disneyland....but having gone to Universal Studios Hollywood, Disney is ranked second for the happiest place on earth. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? The Simpson ride was so good I wanted to go on it so many times but my brother and cousin were just like...meh. But anyway, spectacular fireworks to mark the end of July and celebrate the arrival of August. I am a very fortunate, fortunate girl and I must never ever forget that. Haha an a little secret: I didn't use a tripod for these shots. ;)

The audacity of pride

2011-08-08T15:04:00.003+08:00

"Who are we to say that we don't want to forgive someone when we deserve hell anyway?"

Today's takeaway.

Homebody

2011-08-08T15:01:00.004+08:00

I haven't had such a productive day in a long time. My family went home yesterday night, so I guess that was the reason why I decided to keep myself busy today. I finally finished my synopsis and attached it with my final report...even had to pay 10 USD to send the huge file of 400mb over to my lecturer. Haha.

It's ironic how you can be in a place full of people and yet still feel lonely. I think I feel that all the time with people I can't connect with. Anyway, it was a good Sunday and I thank God for that!

OF COURSE YOURE SOMETHING IN THIS CITY EVEN IF YOURE NOT

2011-08-05T02:59:00.010+08:00

My conversations with Maria sometimes can be full of sarcasm..and sometimes I am so glad that she understands Singaporean sarcasm. Because...most people can't.

Me: Oh you know the other day I met some girl at Barnes and Nobles and she was swooning over Melody's jacket and she introduced herself and said she's a stylist.

Maria: OF COURSE SHE'S A STYLIST *flicks hand*

Of course you're an actress/producer/director/actor. You MUST be something in this city. That's ALL the things anyone can be in LA.

Me? No prizes for guessing.

Overload

2011-08-04T03:13:00.002+08:00

Wahlaoooooo, I am ending my internship soon and now I am given lots of exciting things to do! Like writing synopses! WHY ONLY NOW. I haven't even finished writing my final report for NP, how to do so many things at one time!!

Anyway I am so excited to go home yesterday I packed all my clothes into my luggage hahahaha! My closet room is now stark empty. I think I will have to pay for excess baggage though...

Compare and contrast

2011-08-02T02:31:00.001+08:00

With exactly a month to go before I head home, I know now that I am not the same person I was before I came to the states. My perspective on many things have shifted, and I am not sure of the extent of how different it will be. For one, I know that I will feel very disoriented to wake up somewhere in mid September at the home I have lived in for the past 19 years of my life. I will, subconsciously and consciously compare the two cities I have lived in, and this may or will, put many people off. I will not be able to look at Singapore, or LA the same way anymore, and my sense of normalcy has to be readjusted.

But this is me now. And the heart of who I am is still the same - at least that's what I believe in.

It was a good experience..an amazing one to be able to be here. :)

Ignorance is not always bliss

2011-08-01T14:57:00.003+08:00

Why do people think that by staying low, things will go away?!

It doesn't happen that way. If it is meant to happen it will happen. If people have the intention to harm/hurt you, they will, no matter you choose to stay low OR not. Whether you provoke them OR not.

Lizzie izzy iz

2011-07-30T15:21:00.005+08:00

"Do you think if we didn't meet when we were younger and I only met you now, we would still be friends?"

Maybe, maybe not. But one thing for sure - I am so glad I spoke to Liz when we were thirteen in the canteen during recess ("Liza. ARE YOU A RICH KID?" "Errrr no! Not really la! Why everybody ask me that?" "Cos you look rich" "NO LA!!! Wanna go to the playground?!" "OKAY!" ). This girl has taught me so much about how beautiful a girl can be with confidence. She also taught me that true friendship can withstand the test of time, distance, brutal honesty and nasty fights. She is part of the reason why my attitude has changed for the better over the years ("Hazel you got attitude problem. WAKAO EH YOU. CAN YOU NOT BE LIKE THAT. WAKAOOOO!" 'Wakao' used to be her fav phrase lol)

Transitions

2011-07-30T03:37:00.008+08:00

There is this one moment when you realise that you're not treated as an intern in the marketing department anymore - but as part of the marketing department.

This moment might come in a totally...unsuspecting staff meeting when you hear the CEO addressing your name almost FOUR times instead of calling you "the marketing intern" like he usually does.

And what about the occasional "Our super intern!" or "That's MY intern, she's da best" outbursts from my boss to no one in particular in office.

And what's up with her sending emails with titles like "Fans Crying Videos After 'Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows: Part2' - The Daily Beast‏" (because I told her I was SOBBING so hard halfway through the movie and at the same time exclaiming "It was so sad you have NO IDEA that was the end of a chapter in my childhood!") and a note that says, "This made me think of you!" or "I really appreciate the work you're doing for us, would you like to do more writing? We have a few upcoming movies that would require synopses." or "Now Hazel, you're finally part of our marketing department - not that you weren't before but you know what I mean"

:')

And then I realise that I am leaving in a month's time.

QQ *bawls*

Moral of the story

2011-07-29T08:01:00.007+08:00

我的作文能力很差。不要叫我读和翻译华文。。。

中学时期，老师叫我阅读课文我是这么读的：

“传说有一个（不懂的字读就唸：xxx）‘叉叉叉’ 去了 ‘叉叉叉叉’，做了 ‘叉叉叉叉叉叉’。。。。。”

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！想起来真的很怀念。

然后严老师就会叫我罚站－一正堂课。我是最顽皮的哈哈。

可是，今天我的同事叫我翻译一个很重要的文件给她，我读得一窍不通，还要用 google translate，真丢脸。早知如今和比当初？！

对她来说，我的英文和华文都一样差吧。

有机会的话，我会把中文和英文学好。

想一想，如果我是去上海实习的话一定完蛋，哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。

As if the 8th and final installment of Harry Potter isn't enough

2011-07-29T03:20:00.004+08:00

I want to go to The Hollywood Bowl to listen to John Williams. It's his annual performance in LA! And this should be the perfect experience for me before I part with this city yes? Hurhhhhh I wish I had a car now.

My humble makeup stash

2011-07-29T01:17:00.005+08:00

I have been experimenting with makeup a lot lately, ever since I discovered Sephora at Ion a month before I left for LA. And it's crazy how much I read up on all these products that I am interested in; Melody sometimes (secretly) thinks I am a walking makeup encyclopedia. So here's my humble little makeup collection...And let's start with:

Face

I use Laura Mercier for my face, because I have incredibly annoying sensitive AND oily skin (deadly combination). Before that I tried using other foundations but they all failed me because I always breakout after that...and it took me a couple of facials coupled with a lot of pain (facials HURT LIKE CRAZY) to clear all of them. So I didn't use foundation for a while until I discovered Laura Mercier. I usually apply my oil controlling serums (THREE LOL) from my dermatologist before I put on the primer, and what I love about LM is that all their products are OIL-FREE and they live up to their claim. And then it's the liquid foundation... I think I am using sunny beige and it blends really well with my skintone. After that, I highlight the dark areas on my face with YSL's Touche Eclat (No. 8) and then I powder with LM's translucent powder to set the makeup. They don't sell LM in Sephora Singapore, so I had to get it at True Colours Takashimaya....at a crazy 83 SGD for each. It only sells for 40 USD here!

I use Sigma brushes for applications, which are a relatively inexpensive and good replacement for Mac brushes which are too pricey for a poor farmer girl like me to afford. Moreover, my entire brush kit cost less than 100 USD for 12 professional brushes - and it's PINK.

Eyes

I was introduced to NYX by Liz, who told me that a lot of makeup artists use it because it's really cheap and really good. And true enough, one swipe of their eyeshadow is enough to last me through my day - sometimes even without an eye primer. I looked all over the place for the "All I Ever Wanted" Collection which features 72 colours and finally found a huge stack of them in Urban Outfitters - all of that for only 28 USD.

And of course let's not forget about the hyped up palette of the year haha the NAKED palette. I got mine from Sephora Singapore and it was the last batch of the year that they were bringing in...at an exhorbitant price of 73 SGD by the way (Why do makeup always cost ridiculously expensive in Sg?!) I like how all these wearable colours are in ONE place. Each swipe loads your brush up velvety and shimmery. I am not a smokey eyeshadow kinda girl so my favourite colours are the nudes. The only weakness of this is that the more shimmery ones fall out...after a while. So I always put the eyeshadow on first then put my foundation to cover the fallouts.

Of course to go along with all those gorgeous eyeshadows, you need a good eye primer. I really like UD's eyeshadow primer potion because it helps brings out the colour of the eyeshadow and it helps prevents fallout.

I feel like I have to talk about these two liners because Stila is my favourite brand for liners and it's a pity its underrated all the time. (Maybe not because Stila at Tangs ALWAYS has their liners SOLD OUT and that's the ONLY place I can get Stila liners from and at 50 SGD...while from Sephora US it goes for only 20 USD) The Stay All Day liquid liner really lives up to its name because I can go out with it at 7am in the morning and come home at midnight and no matter how much I RUB my eyes, its STAYS THERE and never smudges! Even WITHOUT AN EYE PRIMER. I use the Stila Kajal Eyeliner in Topaz to line my waterline...and when you do that, you want a smooth application or else you will end up poking your eye, and this is....so smooth. It GLIDES. My friends would disagree though because they are major fans of Dolly Wink eyeliner for its precision. They used to have Dolly Wink in Watsons...but now they don't anymore I think.

By now you can already tell I am a bit of an Urban Decay fan. Haha. I didn't get Zero (matte black) because I already have the Stila in jet black, so I got Oil Slick, which leans towards a bit of grey and has glitter in it. A favourite for glamoring up the eyes.

Sadly the Lancome Hypnose doesn't work for my extremely thin lashes because they usually can't hold up the weight even after I curl them, so they start drooping and poking my eyes. I got the Majorlica Majorca one from Hosanna as a gift, and I quite like them actually. I do want to try the Lancome Oscillation Intensity ones though. And for now, I really want the UD Revolution Eyelash Curler because it has no hinges and I can curl my lashes in sections because my eyes are terribly long!

Cheeks

NARS is definitely my #1 choice. I love the colour Orgasm, for a more natural yet rosy look...and Desire is a sweet alternative. They don't have NARS in Sephora Singapore as well so I will have to stock up before I go back home!

Lips

I use various colours for lips...and I usually prefer lipsticks than lip gloss because its less sticky and my hair doesn't get caught in it all the time. I like nude colours as well as rosy colours..Sometimes I use the Relvon matte nude one to decolourise my lips before putting on another colour. The YSL one is almost a Fuchsia pink which goes very well with the NARS Desire blush. And my everyday lip colour will be Rose Veil from the L'absolu Nu collection. :)

So this is my humble makeup stash..I do have more though but I figured these are the ones that I use more regularly than others haha.

Relatable

2011-07-28T01:42:00.001+08:00

"Why do you write stuff that are real and pretend they are fiction?"

M...Mo...cha!

2011-07-28T01:34:00.002+08:00

Sometimes

2011-07-28T01:31:00.001+08:00

I think I am a very ungrateful bitch.

As told by Maria

2011-07-28T01:25:00.002+08:00

"We all want what we can't have."

I say, the grass is ALWAYS, and FOREVER, greener on the other side. But that doesn't necessarily mean that it is always the case. We like the idea of something better than that something itself. Do I even make sense...

Metaphors

2011-07-27T08:01:00.006+08:00

I spent the past few hours reading one script which I thought was amazing. There is always this one moment in the story when everything falls into place perfectly even if everything was in a horrible mess before, and the idea of having everything come together in such perfect harmony is just so...interesting. Metaphors are used to carefully craft every single step of the process of storytelling; the moment when something new is revealed that makes you go 'oooh' and 'ahhh'. Like flipping a switch and watching how light envelops and illuminates - almost very instantly - a very dark room.

If you know me, I used to write fanfictions a lot when I was younger(like when I was er 12) and even used one of those manuscripts for my interview into mass comm haha. It was childish and it was kinda of embarrassing, and it was certainly an amateur's work. (But hey it worked) And I am wondering why I don't do it anymore.

Santa Barbara & Guns

2011-07-26T12:59:00.002+08:00

We drove up to Santa Barbara on Saturday...and I always look goofy when I take pictures with my brother for some reason. Both of them went skydiving and survived, thank God. And on Sunday, we went to the LAX firing range, and I had my first go at pistols and revolvers and shotguns. By the way, I can seriously injure someone because I didn't miss...a shot. Don't mess with me, I am warning you now. It was a ... boyish weekend. I did boy stuff. It was...weird. But I grew up in a family of boys - two brothers and two boy cousins...so I used to play counterstrike and Diablo 2 haha.

Distance

2011-07-26T06:33:00.005+08:00

Sometimes it gets so hard....I miss Singapore so much. Having my brother and Ben here made me realised that I missed out on a lot of family gatherings and even a fabulous wedding. Two weddings in fact if you'd count Nathan's one. I miss Sam, Jessie, my family, the dog, the church..everything. God knows how much time I have lost with these people. God knows how many bowls of fish soup I MISSED OUT ON. I know I am finishing this soon but it's still quite a fair bit for me to go - one month. 4 weeks. 4 more cycles. I always wondered if I made the right choice in coming all this way just to..breathe and heal. Sure I get to do fun things here and LA has really pretty sidewalks but I don't belong here. At least I know now that my independence can wear out.

And as I am writing this now, time is ticking away like a quiet assurance. I am moving along with it even if it feels like its taking forever for me to get home. I will get there. I will.

The J Paul Getty Villa

2011-07-23T08:42:00.004+08:00

Some really overdue pictures from our visit to the J Paul Getty Villa. If only there was more time that day, we would drive all the way into Malibu to see the beach. It was a pity that we didn't step out of the car that day to take in the sight of the Pacific Coast....that's one of the #1 spots in California for a landscape shot of the sunrise and sunset. Too bad we went too late (noon) and left too early (4pm). I wanted to see the J Paul Getty Villa because I heard that it was modeled after houses in ancient roman times...meaning, houses that look like the ones I researched on for Pompeii. True enough, there was a courtyard upon entering the house, with a magnificent fountain. The roof had an opening to allow water to be collected in a depression on the floor (I wonder if they removed it after they turned it into a musuem or they just left it out because these days there is no need for us to collect water this way). I also found a Bauhuas inspired looking stairway. It was a nice day out :) We ended that evening with a dinner at Ikea in Burbank. Poor Sam drove around so much that day.

If anything

2011-07-23T06:41:00.007+08:00

Stop looking for anything in blue - not just any blue - the tiffany and co blue. (Sudden obsession I don't know why!) I found a nail polish in THAT blue....on Maria's fingers. I am not a blue person. I am more of a purple person.
STOP DRINKING PASSION TEA LEMONADE FROM STARBUCKS (!!!)
STOP DRINKING COKE - STOP ASKING "CAN I HAVE COKE" at cafes or restaurants. Instead, ask for coca cola else they think I want the white stuff.
Stop putting 283017309173913 things into mouth - food mixes can sometimes be uncool.
Stop talking to self when working because its obnoxious and rude
Stop doing multi-tasking i.e. blogging, updating contact sheets, updating website, upating personal web store at the SAME TIME (STOP! TAKING! OFFICE! SUPPLIES! THAT! I DO! NOT! ABSOLUTELY! NEED!)
Stop pulling a long face cos it's FRIDAY (you have no idea I am so exhausted)
STOP wearing Zara flats because they HURT and are OLD
Stop buying Hello Kitty stuff
Stop using Singapoean sarcasm on people that cannot geddit. (I find this funny actually)

Pai kuan (bad habit) la you see.

潘玮柏 - 不得不爱

2011-07-22T00:45:00.012+08:00

是我们感情丰富太慷慨还是有上天安排
是我们本来就是那一派还是舍不得太乖
是那一次约定了没有来让我哭得像小孩
是我们急着证明我存在还是不爱会发呆
Oh baby
不得不爱否则快乐从何而来
不得不爱否则悲伤从何而来
不得不爱否则我就失去未来
好象身不由己不能自己很失败
可是每天都过得精彩
天天都需要你爱，我的心思有你猜
I love you
我就是要你让我每天都精彩
天天把他挂嘴边，到底什么是真爱
I love you
到底要几分钟比我的想象更快

This song is so lovely. Was six years ago. Still is now :) After not studying mandarin for so long I thought I was going to lose the ability to speak it fluently but I can still read AND sing it. Hahaha. My father always taught me to "never forget my roots".

Come, go

2011-07-21T07:41:00.004+08:00

It's strange how I have been here long enough to see people coming and going. I am the "oldest" intern now. Lol, even our intern "boss" as Janice puts it, is leaving. I think she gave me a great deal of help for the past four months I have been here...so during lunch Janice, Rachel and I ran into shops to look for something she might like. And spent our last 15 minutes gobbling down our food. Very soon it will be my turn to leave.

Of course other than presents I am going to prepare lots of Kleenex. I will miss Maria the most. We have been living together for 4 months now. I always thought she was God sent because we get along so well with each other. It's even funny how people go O.O "you're FRIENDS with your roommate? BUT..BUT YOU CAN'T BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEBODY YOU LIVE WITH" But we are and for 4 months now.

So many times we let our preconceived notions of things deceive us and tell us that we cannot. If only, we put those thoughts aside...there's so much we can actually achieve.

I hope you dance

2011-07-20T06:09:00.000+08:00

"I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance"

The flip side

2011-07-20T03:57:00.004+08:00

I always wondered what it would have been like if I chose to intern in SPH instead of flying so many miles across the ocean to be in LA. I could have been doing something that I really like, sitting in the newsroom and absorbing and taking in the "aura" and energy of professional journalists typing furiously away. And yet - I took this job and ended up working five days a week as a publicity intern for the American film industry, which by the way, I know nothing about. I am so clueless at casts in movies that I don't know who Christian Bale is in The Dark Knight (btw I do know now only because my colleague asked me and I googled it). (Working in PR or publicity is the direct opposite of journalism)

But I learnt so much. I learnt how to heal, to tune out to things to protect myself, that distance can do so much good. (I swear a week before I left Singapore I was literally suffocating and if I didn't eventually make it to LA I knew my life would be over) At the end of this I know I will miss this place, the office (with its hardwood floors and the stereo tuned in to KOST 103.5, my nice boss sitting next to me working on her computer and occasionally spinning in her chair dancing to her favourite tunes or speaking German to me when I don't understand a single word), my friendly colleagues who are always asking me if I need anything, the long hallways, the morning bagels and cream cheese from Main Street that my CEO brings in every single morning....

I came here because I wanted to explore the other side of journalism. And I have. And I am so thankful for this experience, but now I just can't wait to go back home.

http://rowlinginthedeep.tumblr.com/

2011-07-19T08:50:00.003+08:00

What Harry Potter meant to me

2011-07-19T01:17:00.029+08:00

I spent the long weekend mostly crying lol in many places - one was at church, and the other was at the movies where I watched the last installment of Harry Potter. As much as I have heard people say that the last installment was a disappointment, I felt this was the only part of the movie series that tried to aptly portray what was in the book. :) I liked it a lot. You have no idea what the whole series meant to me. When I was eight or nine, I caught the movie with my cousins and brothers. It was a late night movie, and I vaguely remember asking my brother when the movie opened with the Hedwig's Theme by John Williams, "Is this a ghost movie kor kor?" and he said "no it isn't" So I sat still and watched the Sorcerers Stone, not knowing where this would lead us 11 years later.

After the movie I started to read the book, and found myself anticipating one after the other. My favourite was The Goblet of Fire, because my dad bought it specially for me when he was on a business trip in the US. Each time I wanted to enter into a magical world, I would flip open the books to visit Hogwarts. And the story never gets old!

I watched 2, 4, 5, and 6 with the Harry Potter gang at school, namely June, Yuan Quan, and Cheng Yeh. The gang "disbanded" right before I left for LA because we couldn't make time to watch 7 part 1 together.

11 years later, I find myself in a theatre in Los Angeles, clapping and cheering with the crowd when Molly Weasely used the death spell on Bellatrix Lestrange in a bid to protect her daughter Ginny "Not my daughter, YOU BITCH!", and bawling my eyes out when Snape died all the way till the end of the movie. (Of course, we also clapped when Harry rolled off Hagrid's arms ALIVE and cheered so hard when the Romione kiss happened. Audience reactions are so...loud and spontaneous in the theatres of LA.) The series saw June and I as best friends till where we are now - living completely separate lives.

A part of my childhood ended, my best friend is no longer and I am turning 20 next year. I will always remember how the series taught me to read and relish in every single word read, and more importantly, inspired me to keep writing even when the going gets tough.

לפיס

2011-07-19T00:48:00.005+08:00

"God be merciful and propitious to me the sinner"

We had the Thornburgs over yesterday at church. They are missionaries from Spain, Madrid. Madrid feels like a really familiar place to me because Maria tells me about the place a lot as she sees herself living there in future since it's really near to Portugal. I felt the message yesterday really spoke to me and touched my heart in all the right places because it told of the words I didn't want to speak out loud to anybody, not even to myself..

Propitiate or propiciar (in spanish) is the direct translation of the Hebrew word לפיס, which means "favorably inclined; appease; conciliate".

The law of God only serves to tell us to be wary of our own deceitful hearts, but it cannot save. Our propitiation is in Christ, and nothing else. Only Christ. My propitiation is in Christ - and no one else.

The service ended with the hymn Amazing Grace....and I thought to myself, how apt. And the next thing I knew, my voice cracked and the tears couldn't stop flowing.

♥✉

2011-07-14T07:44:00.010+08:00

On some days I would like to believe, that somehow along the next five, ten, twenty years or so, I will find the ones that I lost. They will enter my life the same way they exited, and I will find myself embracing that. I may chance upon them at a bakery, in a bookstore, cafe, on the streets, and they will say hi; we will talk, and realise that the distance has done us good, like it does to so many other things. We will realise that it gave us space to grow, and that now we are truly our own person, we can finally love and treasure somebody else. We will get to know each other again; just like how we did in the very beginning. And it wouldn't matter as much that things aren't the same as before because this is a separate and new experience all together. There is no need for selfish, childish, competitive, self-centeredness, and what is left is just a mellower version of us. We will come to realise that we are unique in our own way, because God has crafted his art so perfectly.

I find myself yearning for you to turn up right around every corner, but I figured the more important thing would be for you to turn up at just exactly the right time, the right moment, where things are finally in their right places. For the next five, ten, twenty years or so, I know I'll be on the constant lookout for you. Because undeniably, you held such a special place in my heart that I am not sure if anyone else can ever be good enough as a replacement. As much as I try to convince myself otherwise. (In actuality, I try to convince other people but no one really believes me haha)

And when that time comes, I know I will be proven right that no matter how much we grow and change, the heart of who we are stays the same.

Be good now, and I wish only the best for you. :')

2 MORE DAYS: IT ALL ENDS

2011-07-14T02:57:00.005+08:00

I am fairly excited about the last installment of the Harry Potter series.. (Haha if you notice, I hardly get excited about anything) I have been seeing these huge ass billboards with Emma Watson or Daniel Radcliffe or the faceless guy who plays Voldemort holding their wands with light streaks coming out of it and right beside them are the words "IT ALL ENDS" in X days and xx:xx hours. Am I the only one who has tears welling up in my eyes each time I watch the trailer?!

"HOGWARTS WILL ALWAYS BE THERE TO WELCOME YOU HOME" :') IIII am going home in September to flip through and devour every, single, page of the seven books I have in my stash.

http://www.youtube.com/harrypotter

Traffic woes

2011-07-13T02:26:00.004+08:00

I have family visiting this weekend for the next three weeks. I warned both my brother and cousin about the upcoming carmageddon weekend. Initially I wanted to hop over to Toni and Guy to get a haircut this Saturday because I didn't manage to get one last weekend, but it seems now I will have to wait for yet another week because Sepulveda will be jammed pack with so many cars that we won't be able to go anywhere..

Turn on the radio0o0

2011-07-12T07:27:00.001+08:00

Ha! NOW I HAVE GOT AMANDA TUNING IN TO KOST 103.5 LOL We gonna partaye at our desks!

Aching joints

2011-07-11T13:08:00.002+08:00

I had the worse experience with grocery shopping earlier on when I overestimated my own strength and ability to lug all that milk, water and food home. I am reeling from the consequences now. My arms feel dislocated, my fingers have cuts from polyethylene bags, and..those aching joints. Oh boy. My apartment lies over a hill. It's actually pretty okay if I lived on top of the hill, because then I don't have to climb up, and go down a slope, and walk a little more to get home...The most annoying thing is that I can't wash my hair until Tuesday night because I just did a perm, and it's. so. gross. I am sucha cleaniness freak. I have been lazy with my blog and pictures haha but I will get around it soon once it hits August! I neeeeed to go to Sephora soon. Praying for yet another great week ahead and I hope you have a good one too.

Weekends

2011-07-10T13:11:00.004+08:00

I had a super saturday because I went to Toni & Guy and got my hair done :) It's been four months since I did anything to my hair actually haha so it felt particularly refreshing. I couldn't believe how inexpensive the perm was....it's crazy!! I caught Horrible Bosses with Maria too and it was helluva funny. Lovin my orange eyeshadow from NYX, I should buy a dozen before I head back to Singapore. Oh and photo taken with my S95 again, I cannot tell you how much I love it.

Surely goodness and mercy, shall follow me, all the days, all the days of my life

2011-07-09T12:20:00.003+08:00

If anything, this internship has taught me that no matter where I go, or what I have to go through, I'll be exactly where God wants me to be. And because He opened the doors for me and led me through, he will lead me out of it, though not necessarily without trials - because there are always lessons He wants me to learn. There is comfort in knowing that I don't have to be in charge all the time, because that can be so, so, exhausting; I don't have to be in control all the time because I know that things can spiral out of control, but still be put in all their right places at the end of the day. How amazing is that? Sometimes at the end of the day you find that you have exhausted every single cell in your body working 8 hours a day for an industry you don't even want to be a part of in future, it gets so hard to move along without feeling like you're dragging your feet through the mud. And then you realise why and who you're doing this for and it makes everything okay again. And that's all we ever want to be sometimes - okay.

[11:04:00 PM] HazelTYL: doesnt matter if we dont talk for 1 month i will still be yr friend after a lvls

2011-07-07T13:36:00.010+08:00

Was reading Jessie's tumblr and found this on one of her older posts. It probably happened during one of our skype conversations.

This is the sort of friend I am :P Can't believe how long we have been friends for. SIX YEARS?! SEVEN?! Missin' you Jess and Lizzie all the way from Los Angeles. And Liz, get your butt back in Melb or Sg from Ireland SOON. Jessie you're so cool (khoo, pun intended) you have friends who are travelling all around the world. See you in September Lih Hsia and I know you'll still be my friend even though we haven't spoken in a while now haha xx

A state of euphoria

2011-07-07T06:44:00.004+08:00

I am truly, so truly, excited about going home now that it's a month to when my grading periods ends - yes August fifth that is and I will continue to persevere and hold my breath until I get there. I am glad that my hard work is starting to pay off because this morning I was not reprimanded for any errors in the work I submitted the day before, and neither did I find any post-its on my desk saying "see me in my office" this morning when I came in, perspiring from the warm weather with my passion fruit lemonade tea in hand. I have also been looking up all the universities around the world because I can already feel the extent of how unsatisfied I will be if I were to end up in one of the universities at home. I don't know if I am ever going to have enough money to stay abroad for four years, but it never hurts to dream a little isn't it. I have learnt so many times that by dreaming about the impossible, and believing in these very dreams fervently, I will somehow get there, Lord willing. And it is how the notion of "impossible" transforms into something so achievable, accessible, and possible that always intrigues me. Which is why I refuse to settle for the predictable because it never is going to be enough for me.

The happiest place on earth

2011-07-06T07:48:00.013+08:00

When Sam and the girls were here, we took a trip up to Disneyland. We bought a two-day park hopper and hotel package in advance, and so we spent one night at the Paradise Pier hotel. I was really excited because it was my first time there.

The hotel room was all things Disney, including Mickey printed sheets. Even the toiletries in the bathroom had Mickeys and Minnies on it.

We took the monorail to Tomorrowland..

They had plenty of ducks waddling around...

We headed to Plaza Inn for our brunch after a two-hour long drive.

Of course we couldn't miss out on the magic castle we saw in cartoons when we were kids.

And since we all were chicken about going on to the scarier rides, we had a go at the merry-go-round..

Me and my candyfloss heehee

We also became V.I.Ps of the ship we went on because we got to ride with the Captain and got to steer it (even though we all knew it was a scam because the boat was guided by line tracks) After which all of us were awarded a boating license.

We accidentally wandered into a goat ranch and started camwhoring with all the goats there!

This one stayed particularly still (he is alive and breathing I promise you), so I borrowed Melody's iphone so I could camwhore with it on Instagram.

We stayed till 9.30pm for the fireworks, and I was too mesmerised by it to take any pictures. Actually, the truth is after we checked into the hotel, I dumped my DSLR in my luggage and didn't bring it out....(which is why I bought myself the S95 to prevent history from repeating itself, I mean, who brings a DSLR to a theme park man?! Only Melody would.)

We went to the California Adventure Park the next day..

I wore my new maxi pastel green dress...

And had Mexican food for lunch. I am not a huge fan of Mexican food though but the three of them loved it.

And ended our day with the most ferocious ride of our two days there: the Grizzly River Run, which was not really scary at all. Besides that we did go to Mermaid Land to visit Ariel and the fishes, got onto a pirate's boat to see Captain Jack Sparrow, helped Buzz Lightyear eliminate aliens, and our favourite rides were definitely the stimulator ones: Star Tours and Soaring Thru California. We got to go into the land of Star Wars and saw the main attractions of California by flying through and over them.

I had an awesome Disney adventure and won't mind going back for more.

Needddd a haircut

2011-07-04T12:52:00.002+08:00

I am going for a haircut....soon. At Toni & Guy because its mad cheap here!!

The Sunday before the 4th of July

2011-07-04T12:26:00.004+08:00

I spent the morning in church, and there were these little flags in the vases by the windows that I thought were so adorable.

Then I met Maria, Sherry and her friend after that because Sherry wanted to go to the Anime Expo. We drove to Downtown LA...

...to the Los Angeles Convention Center

...where Maria and I were fascinated with all these cosplayers. I never knew the west had people interested in Cosplay at all!!!! It was an eye opening experience. I always thought cosplay was an Asian thing haha.

It was funny how these two girls jay-walked six lanes across from us!

And we ended our night at the only Portuguese restaurant in LA. I had the best steak in a while now.

If you're thinking these photos were shot with my canon 500d, you're wrong because I bought a new baby this weekend on my way to The Grove yesterday with Maria :) It's a Canon S95! And I'm lovin' it :)

Sam's birthday 2206

2011-07-04T11:13:00.006+08:00

This post is probably very overdue, but I was overwhelmed by so many things at that point of time that I didn't have time to upload pictures from Sam's birthday here.

We decided to drive up to Longbeach that day, and we had a good brunch at Bubba Gump! We started out with a mix of garlic and chilli shrimps, and had pasta and fish and chips for our mains.

After that we went to the aquarium! We saw...the starfish

A cute yellow fish kissing something

Seadragons....the cousins of seahorses...

Nemo!

Nemo's friend Dory!

A purple pretty fish I wish was Nemo's friend too

Pretty jellyfish!!

I even had a go at touching and patting their jelly "heads"!

We didn't get enough of the fish action so we decided to go out to the middle of the pacific ocean to whale watch! We left the coast....

Got on to a boat....

After an hour... we spotted....no whale, but!

DOLPHINS! Over two thousand of them :) We spent a good three hours out on sea shivering in the cold (because stupid me wore beach wear thinking that California was finally getting warmer but nope) watching these dolphins flip, fly, and swim. After getting back to shore, we went to Koreatown for Korean BBQ after picking Melody and Hosanna up from Melrose Avenue!

Yum :)

And so that was Sam's birthday and I hope he had a really good one :) I still can't believe he flew out here to be with me for three weeks!

The power of words

2011-07-03T14:02:00.004+08:00

Tonight I can still feel the impact of your words many years ago, those specific words that made my world stop spinning the way it should, that changed my life, and everything that I ever knew about myself. The words that ring in my mind occasionally on nights like this, and then - I. can't. breathe.

Sometimes I pray so hard to God wishing that certain things never did happen, that things remained intact the way it was, but I realised that won't ever happen because God is a God who doesn't retract his decisions or plans for us. There are many reasons I have found to try to justify why those things happened, that it was better for me, that it made me a stronger person, that it was so that everything would be okay in the end - but no explanation would fully satisfy.

Why is it that even with the knowledge that God did bless the broken road (and is blessing it now), I am not at peace? I wish I had less of an affinity with words - that I could be a regular person who has the memory of a goldfish with regards to things that were said. But I am not. I remember every single word. Every. Single. Word. Nobody is perfect. Nothing can be perfect.

It's been years

2011-07-02T14:24:00.006+08:00

Sometimes I wish I were smarter and stronger so I wouldn't keep revisiting the past. There are things I have read, seen, known, and yet I want to relive them over again. It hurts, oh sure it does.

But sometimes, I do it to test myself - to see whether it still hurts the same as before. Other times, to remind myself that I should never fully be reliant or dependent on anybody, that I should always have a part of me that I preserve and keep just for myself.

And most of the time, I find that this essential part of me, is writing. I write to release my pent up emotions even if I don't say explicitly what is in my head, I write to comprehend and organise my thoughts, and I write to keep me breathing.

I have said this many times before: just because something happened a really long time ago, doesn't mean it didn't happen at all. I know this very well because I am reminded of how as a little girl I had a bad accident with a bicycle that left an ugly scar on my foot. It happened when I was seven - and over these years, it has stuck with me. It's just...there. Same with a few other things as well.

I try to eliminate the possibility of these things happening another time, and boy I do try so hard.

But through it all I am thankful and happy to know that God is in control. He knows where exactly it hurts and how to heal and comfort me. And I know I am on my way to recovery.

And that's all I have to say...for now

2011-07-01T06:11:00.006+08:00

I haven't been in the best mood to write anything constructive and I don't want to ramble in this space to avoid clutter....My obsessive compulsive disorder with cleanliness is taken to a whole new level with me purchasing hand sanitizers (aloe vera with vitamin e) from the pharmacy to keep my hands free of all the germs I can possibly catch from sitting in the bus for 1 hour and 30 minutes everyday. I would like to reach into my bag of In & Out fries on my way home sometimes and not feel like I am eating bacteria thank you. Not to mention, I am getting increasingly OCD and paranoid over almost everything, especially when it comes to the project I am currently working on and my own personal safety(now that I am no longer boxed up in a piece of metal with wheels). I try to ignore the weird and creepy people who speak to me but some days I just feel like I can't do it anymore - and that's when I break out into a string of mandarin words (it doesn't matter what, they won't understand it anyway) or when I put my blackberry up my ear when there's no one on the line, or have my earphones plugged in even when my ipod is dead so they leave me alone.

I am also having a horrible breakout on my face. Sigh. Nevertheless, Happy Independence Day!

You're my summertime

2011-06-29T12:25:00.004+08:00

When I woke up this morning I thought June Gloom was back because there was no sun at all, but I caught a glimpse of it before it set on my way home earlier on, and I finally saw some pretty clouds here. It was quite a rare sight. Anyway in case you were wondering what have I been up to recently, I have been working on the Sims 3 (which Sam got me) during my spare time, and was utterly befuddled by how complex it was. The last time I played the Sims, the only places I could go to was...no where. And now? I could get them to go to somebody else's house, go to a bookstore, shop for groceries, go for a swim in somebody's backyard...it's confusing. Some proof that I am aging haha. Anyway Maria taught me a cheat code that I could use to generate lots of monies and moolah and I am now a millionaire with a huge house and have a huge yard with a pool. (Hey, what's gaming without a cheat code? I am a cheater bug like that ha!) I am currently working on something exciting at work, and it makes me even happier to know that I am being of use to them. It's going to be big for my own portfolio. Other than that, I have been looking up some colleges to go to for my higher education - and yes, anywhere but America.

So far so good

2011-06-26T05:12:00.013+08:00

I woke up to sunlight spilling all over my room at 9:30am and the first thought that came to me was "NOWAYYOU'RE KIDDING ME ITS SUMMER!" (Well I really hope that was the end of June Gloom) and started to get into my Saturday cleaning routines. I started with the laundry - splitting my dark and coloured clothes into two separate loads, and an extra load for my bedsheets. I popped all of them into the washing machines down the hall and started spraying my toilet with soap to get some of the stubborn stains I never bothered to clean out...which is absolutely gross if you ask me. Then I moved on to washing the entire bathroom floor and removing the hair (you won't believe how much hair there is on those tiled floors) and dust, and finally washing my green dirty toilet rug after say, three months? And replaced that with my hot pink rug I got from Ross at 2 bucks recently. I reorganised my fridge while waiting for my stain remover to work - it took about 15 minutes - and threw out mouldy cheddar cheese, almost empty coke bottles, and chocolates that I never got around to eating, ham that expired, and some fruits that have gone bad. I also unloaded 20 packets of indomee and instant noodles from my cabinet and packed them neatly into a bag to be stored in my closet room because I can no longer see where my sauces and biscuits and pasta are in that cabinet...I have to say, my friends are awesome because they stocked up on so much food for me when they went to the Asian supermarkets it was as if a war could break out in Los Angeles anytime now and I would be able to survive for a few months without having to step out of my house to get food.

And so that was what I did for my Saturday morning. I am going to Elysée with Maria for lunch, and I will see what my afternoon has for me.

I'll do it all over again

2011-06-25T02:35:00.003+08:00

It felt like a dream traveling with Sam for the past three weeks. It was always what we wanted to do together but never got the opportunity to because of our school schedules, money issues and other constraints. I don't know why but he always manages to make me feel really safe no matter where we go...even if the gps screws up or we run out of cash to pay for parking we would still find our way home because he is really good at directions. Maybe he just has this quality that makes me feel this way around him. And it has been this way for the past five years. Anyway I was so sad because he had to leave yesterday I cried like a baby to sleep. But I know for sure that that three weeks are going to be the best weeks of my entire stay in LA.

Venice

2011-06-24T13:39:00.000+08:00

Sam picked me up for lunch the other day, and we headed to Venice beach which was just a stone's throw away from my office. We had an awesome seafood lunch. When he was driving me back, he took a wrong turn and we chanced upon the beautiful Venice canals. We drove back after I was done with work with Melody and Hosanna to get a good view of it, and it was only when Melody mentioned that this was the place where Ashton Kutcher was in Valentine's Day that I remember why the bridges and everything looked so familiar. It felt like discovering new land...and it reminded me of how this city is full of magic and possibilities. Venice is so different from Santa Monica, and Santa Monica is so different from Hollywood. Melrose Avenue is a street parallel to Hollywood, and that can look entirely different. Each place has a specific theme to it, and for Venice, the theme was not having one at all. You could walk in any restaurant there and they could have a nice patio and yet play death metal music while you eat your salad, or have a strange fountain right smack in the middle of a cafe, and weird ornaments hanging next to each other on the wall, just for juxtaposition purposes.

Boohoo

2011-06-24T07:07:00.004+08:00

Nobody should be put on an emotional roller coaster ride like this. Sam and the girls are leaving tonight and I don't know what to feel about it. I guess the only reason why I tried so hard to make myself feel nonchalant about them coming over was because I knew this was coming. So anyway I will probably spend the weekend sobbing in my bathtub with my newly bought pretty soap bars from Lush.

You don't have to rsvp to my pity party.

Dum dum dum

2011-06-18T08:03:00.006+08:00

Please explain to me why am I doing what I am doing when nobody even cares whether I do it or not. Why am I doing stuff for people who won't use whatever I have done anyway? If anything, this is the most challenging aspect of my internship. Whether or not people decide to use material that I have painstakingly drafted, I have to suck it up and still take pride in my work. And you know what? Hey, hey, I am not doing it for you, you or you. I am doing it for God's glory and it's all that matters yes? Bet 'cha thought I was going to quit but noooooo, because Hazel is no quitter and she hates sloppiness in her work.

Oh look, I am speaking in third-person to myself ha ha its a sign that I am going bonkers!

Good ol' times

2011-06-18T06:30:00.009+08:00

Haha I recall having five periods of math on tuesday afternoons back in secondary school, and because I hated math so much all I wanted to do was go to sleep when mr chia was going on about all the formulas for sin, cosin, and tangent. So I would feign a stomachache and say it's the time of the month, go to the bathroom, and sit on the toilet and take a nap. I...slept for the whole five periods till the last bell rang and it was time to go home, almost every single tuesday. Which was why I never managed anything higher than a pass for mathematics. I was quite the problematic kid in math class. (yes, pun intended) In fact, I was the problem none of my math teachers could solve lolololol!

When you're stuck in a rut

2011-06-17T03:09:00.005+08:00

Nothing is more therapeutic than trying to remove and unload jammed paper from the paper shredder with a pair of scissors for two whole hours. I am not even kidding or meaning this to be sarcasm. There's something about trying to yank the thick, coarse shreds out of those sharp wheels and having this inner voice scream "yay!" when a small chunk of it comes out. It's almost like a rescue operation for these poor stuck babies. At the end of it now I have been meaning to tell the whole office to hand me all of their jammed paper shredders because I'll gladly rescue jammed paper for them. It makes me feel noble. The only time I don't find myself beating myself up over my inadequacies at work is when I am working on the paper shredder. Now, will somebody grab some sort of a tool and save me from my rut now? I have been moping around in self-pity and bitterness for several days now. I hate rolling around in the mud.

Argh

2011-06-17T01:00:00.004+08:00

You know what's so annoying about working in media? It is that you can spend three weeks working on something only to trash it and start over again. Why do I still want to make this my lifetime job? Sometimes it feels like I am doing this so that I have things to throw in the trash.

Limitations

2011-06-17T00:32:00.004+08:00

I should never forget that it's very dangerous for me to be solely dependent on anybody, and that it's not okay to hand the reins over to somebody else even for a moment. It's even more dangerous of me to think that I can handle everything by myself. Evidently, I can't.

Missin'

2011-06-15T14:34:00.002+08:00

I spent a cozy evening over at Pastor Russ' place, followed by a short bible study on Psalm 73 which showed me how much I have drifted away from God because of my own selfish ambitions. Thom played the piano, and we sang a whole bunch of hymns that I haven't sung in about two months now. I miss being God centered about everything. I miss MCBC. I miss home.

Here we go again

2011-06-14T00:42:00.011+08:00

It's been a week since we rented the car, and Sam has been driving all around the city, and I can't emphasise how important it is to be able to drive in a crazy-huge place like Los Angeles. I feel liberated for a while from taking the (damned) big blue bus, and am glad that I will have a ride to and fro work for the next two weeks. I think my initial lack-of-excitement was because I was afraid of losing my sense of independence, which by the way, has already happened. But who cares - I shall enjoy whatever dependency I can have for the next two weeks and then sit down and wallow in self-pity at my consequences when they leave.

I will be all alone in America again till my brother and Ben wind up here in July. And then they will leave, and I will be alone again till Celeste and Elliot come back in August, and at the end of the month, it's time for me to leave.

!!!!! I hate roller-coaster rides, literally and figuratively speaking.

By the way, Disney was super awesome and I am going to try for a Californian driving license here.

Spread the love

2011-06-10T08:50:00.007+08:00

Lord my God! When I in awesome wonder
Consider all the works thy hand hath made,
I see the stars, I hear the mighty thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed

There's nothing like a good weekend getaway and soaking and taking in one of God's art pieces while contemplating over His greatness and omniscience. I am heading to Disney this weekend and I hope you have a good one too xx

If I could have...

2011-06-10T06:10:00.005+08:00

A stud.

I would like it in my tongue. A tongue stud. Likka cool only. But I am too scared of the pain hahahaha. What if I die from it? The headlines would read girl who died from secret tongue piercing.

It's always been what I secretly want(the piercing, not the posthumous headline).

My father will kill me hahahhahaha.

As fleeting as it comes it goes

2011-06-10T05:14:00.003+08:00

I feel extremely bad now I broke my boss' figurine...omg. I would scream at the person who breaks any of my precious things ok but she didn't and said its okay.

She's too nice and I am too...stupid. Guilt ridden for life.....

Plus I can hardly breathe from my blocked nose. Sucks to be me.

Keeping my fingers crossed

2011-06-10T05:02:00.003+08:00

Omg....I am in deep shit.

This reminds me of the time I broke a bottle of Tabasco sauce in the supermart and ran home after shoving the broken bottle under the shelf...only to reach home and come out again to the supermarket to own up and pay for it. The cashier was like..."WHY DID YOU COME BACK, YOU GOT AWAY?!" And I sheepishly grinned and shrugged my shoulders.

14:30, I will face the music.

What the....

2011-06-10T00:22:00.004+08:00

I have no idea what the ruckus was about yesterday but it definitely took me longer than usual to fall asleep. I know I know, it's probably a grad night house party or a party to celebrate the end of finals...but still, there was no need for the screaming and shouting and cheering and jeering that woke the entire Kelton Avenue up. Couple that with Melody's incessant opening and closing of my room door due to God-knows-what, I lost it and screamed at her in my half-awaken state. I am not sorry about it. It could have been worse. Thank God I caught my tongue before I mouthed more nasty words.

I wanted to call in sick today but decided that since I could still walk to the bus stop I am not very ill.

I was probably running a temperature yesterday night and I could hardly breathe through my nose. So you can almost imagine how bad and horrid my night was K THX BYE.

Cosmology

2011-06-09T06:50:00.005+08:00

(I am sorry the picture looks so tiny but if you want it larger you can click on it!)

It was a beautiful day, and the weather couldn't have been more perfect for a visit to the Grand Canyon National Park. It took me a while to fix up seven images into a panorama of the South rim of the canyon, and I figured that anything less-wide-angle than that would not be of justice to this magnificent piece created by God. I am in awe.

Keeping my eyes peeled open

2011-06-09T02:24:00.000+08:00

Falling asleep at my desk, and missing how I can nap on the bus back at home and not get worried about creeps trying anything funny. Yawns

So, nose, behave yourself

2011-06-08T08:40:00.003+08:00

Sneezing like a mad woman in office...think my colleagues are sick of saying "bless you" all day to me haha. I am sick of saying "thank you" too. Going home to make myself a hot cup of Swedish berries and honey. I am not going to fall sick because I am going to Disneyland this weekend. I am not.

Vegas was....

2011-06-08T00:33:00.006+08:00

I hated Vegas. I hated how fake the entire city looked; it's even funny. There were moments when I looked at a building and wanted to laugh at how ridiculous it seemed. Anyway, the moment I stepped in there all I wanted to do was...leave. But that's just me because I don't club or drink. I hated the booze and the plastic people and how the drunkards littered the streets. I went to the Jubilee show, and watched topless women dance and couldn't help but wonder how absolutely degrading that is. In short, I am glad that to have seen it (both the show and the city), but I never want to go back there again. NEVER.

It's pretty obvious that Disneyland might be the happiest place in the world for me now.

The highlight of the trip was the shopping - and I am happy that I got myself a Coach bag and a whole lot of other things as well. I went to the M&M factory which by the way, was not really in full operation because it was 10 am in the morning, bummer. They had these little machines where you stick in two quarters and a cent, and then you start winding the machine, and it melts your quarters and shape them into little bronze tokens for keepsakes. Mine had a M&M mascot on it with the words "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" engraved on it. Only that the one cent coin had to be shiny and nice otherwise the token comes out looking all dirty, which mine did. (I gave Sam my shiny one cent lol) But that's okay: it's priceless.

The view from my window back at home

2011-06-04T05:36:00.001+08:00

My babies

2011-06-04T02:00:00.008+08:00

Hey didn't I say one year ago I would get a Diana for myself? I have and am so excited! I am taking it to Vegas with me, how does that sound? I have loaded black and white film in it :) And my sigma replacement lens came, double double joy.

My mom likes to say that the cost of my hobby is the cost of both my brothers'. Though I think that won't be possible because they pay $25/month for their World of Warcraft subscription!

Sleep deprived

2011-06-04T01:03:00.004+08:00

I woke up at one-hour intervals yesterday night because my dear friends were so jet-lagged they couldn't fall asleep at all and just kept talking and talking and talking and talking.

#$)#@&)($^@($^%*&@%$*%$&^%$^&#$)*$)(^$(*^#*&@#!#!&0

I AM PRETTY SURE THEY ARE SLEEPING AT HOME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE ITS 2AM IN SINGAPORE.

Middle child syndrome

2011-06-03T06:59:00.004+08:00

I have to start packing for Vegas tonight. Two more hours till work is over for the day. :)

Haven't been talking to mom much. Think sometimes she hates my independence but knows that if I were less independent I probably would have ended up as one of those who went astray cos I didn't get enough attention from my parents when I was a kid. I had an amazing childhood nonetheless.

From Jessie's blog:

2011-06-03T01:28:00.007+08:00

"Met Liza yesterday with Yunwei at town. (Dear Hazel, no picures as usual. LOL I didnt even attempted to take any cause Liza was already complaining tt her makeup is fading/melting off due to SG f hot weather, and her messy and dry hair as well HAHAHA you should know lah!) Met Liza w her mum and bro at one of the restaurant in Mandarin Gallery, and I was offered an awesome drink by her mum:D SLURPS~~~~<3 And my dear liza gave me so many facial samples!!!!!! <3 Walked and shopped and ate ramen plus FROLICKS(Dear hazel, still rmb ur frolick application? We were talking about it lol) and walked and shopped and lastly had drinks from TCC again~ (pictures of food...only w liza)"

Ahh, I miss you girls. Thanks for remembering my existence, even though all you spoke of was my embarrassing experience with Frolick. If I were there, I would have made that bitch Liz take tons of pictures with me because I totally love her "super ugly" face. Pl0x Liz, you're beautiful. All of you are.

But what Liz says is true: I am pretty happy that laura mercier is not sliding off my face here in California hahahahaha. Singapore's weather RUINS your makeup.

Fight, fight, fight

2011-06-02T10:41:00.004+08:00

I opened the door to my home and my ipod started playing click five's empty

"but it's emptyyyyyyyy"

True enough it is because my roommate went out for classes.

How poetic. Hahahaha I don't think I did too well today. I was a bit...lazy. It just didn't feel like my day today.

Time to make some dinner because tomorrow will be a better day. And it will be one of those days where I am raring to go with my workaholic energy. I will take pride in my work. I will strive to be perfect. I will do it for God's glory.

Hey look!

2011-06-02T08:36:00.003+08:00

Nasty dog. I want to pull his whiskers hahahahaha

Probably because I have been here for only a few months

2011-06-02T08:20:00.005+08:00

A lot of people have been asking me if I am very psyched about Sam and my friends coming over like, say, tomorrow.

Wait for it.

Wait for it......

Wait for it...................!

NOPE.

I am sorry I tried feeling the excitement but I am probably not as excited as someone who is going to be here for like the next five years who is having his or her friends over for three weeks? But it's okay. We gonna have a blast! :)

I am however, very excited about my ba zhang and garlic chilli! Oh and not forgetting my darlie toothpaste haha. I HATE COLGATE. It tastes funny.

All time fav

2011-06-02T06:16:00.001+08:00

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
and I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
and breakaway

Oh c'mon Hazel one more hour to lunch and you're almost there. Almost there. This isn't too hard.

2011-06-02T02:58:00.003+08:00

Orange juice

2011-06-01T13:20:00.005+08:00

Katie: I will take you out for drinks one of these days, like have a glass of wine and you can teach me how to pitch in mandarin.
Me: Okay you can take me out for drinks. But I don't drink, so I'll have orange juice and you will have wine.
Katie: Hey Amanda she says shes going to have orange juice when we go out for drinks instead of wine haha
Amanda: How adorableeeee
Me: Orange juice is good. *beams*

When night falls

2011-06-01T13:04:00.004+08:00

I come home everyday to a glass of coke because its refreshing, a hot shower because its soothing, a nice home cooked dinner because its satisfying to cook. I come home to Family Guy or Sex and the City reruns on TBS, E!, and Fox, to the bouquet of flowers sitting in the middle of my white living room, a tub of Ben and Jerry's chocolate fudge ice cream.

Some nights I come home and find that I don't want to come home to this home anymore, but the one where my dog greets me at my door, to the home that has TVB on 24/7, to the strange combination of furniture and the familiar smell of incense burning.

I don't understand. Why do I want to come back after I am done with my diploma? Why would I? But every single day I go to bed and wake up with the same absurd idea in my head: Stay.